Too long a time away...too long!

I never knew it did take me so long to post a blog, I really can't understand/comprehend me not writing anything for so long...too long. I remember telling myself I did blog everyweek, on everything, anything, as long as it made sense and there was any iota of learning(s) to be shared.

A lot has happened since my last post, so much has happened and it has been, sincerely, more good than bad. I got promoted, got a pay 'hike', moved to Lagos permanently, got 2 awards at the annual 'P&G Grammys'. That is a lot of good, it gets better because my younger sister came back to Nigeria and not forgetting the grand celebration of life for Iya Ibadan in Sagamu...plentiful activity don waka o'.

That is as per the good, now the bad which includes breaking up with 'you know who', making up and then getting all possible grief a man can get. It is mos def not easy being a man, like an old juju music crooner sang in an evergreen yoruba song; "suuru la fi nse oko obirin". This translates to 'only with patience can you be a husband to a woman'...'m sure you are laughing out loud but it is very true. I have suprised myself to a large extent in recent times, suprisingly so. The struggle of settling down to Lagos life full time is another story on its own. Calling it a challenge is probably a gross understatement, costs are killing, traffic is crazy and pressure is 2ce as Nyce!!

It is not that I am complaining about the fact that most of the last two months have been spent shuttling hotels, I am just worried I will end up on the streets of Lagos (God forbid) if something does not happen within the next 2 weeks. I don't want to discuss the costs, I don't want to remember the fact that its a 500% upcharge to my Ibadan costs, as it could make me run, resign, retire or relocate. I just hope the good news continues to over-shadow the bad news.

The greatest challenge has just been maintaining my spiritual growth, the move, the work, peeps and situation have just been anti-me. I really need to settle down soon, so help me God, challenges will persist but so will the grace of God.

I REST MY CASE!!!

A TRIBUTE TO IYA IBADAN!

As I type this write up, tears stream down...from my eyes, over my nose and down my mouth. As I remember that my grand mum, the final one, the only one I can make any claim to knowing or having a relationship with is no more I can't help but cry, I can't help the tears. My colleague sited right beside me just noticed my change in demeanour, I do not know how to explain the feeling, I wouldn't know the right words to use. Typing just got harder, tears free flowing.

I had a relationship with Iya Ibadan, she brought me up, rocked and cuddled me from infancy through my early years till my late teens. I remember her meekness, her generosity (her greatest fault). I remember the amala, the free drinks...I remember how much she longed for me to be well, to grow up and take care of her.

Iya Ibadan was from Sagamu, she got the name from the fact that she lived most of her adult life in Ibadan. She met her 2nd husband there (my step-grandfather) and settled in Apata Gangan where the husband was Baale. There were not too many Alhajas more popular than Alhaja Amole, iyawo Baale, Iya Oye in that area. She was popular as she ran a little beer parlour in front of her residence, I will never forget my post SSCE vacation in Ibadan back in 1995 (December).

It was during this particular vacation at Iya Ibadan's house that I perfected by smoking, toasting and snooker playing skills. Her house could have been a far cry from the comfort of my parents luxury apartment but with the prospect of a bottomless drink for free (anyone that has had a stint with MacDonald's and British Chinese restaurants would know what bottomless means), a very deep pocket (from sales proceeds) and a daily supply of home made & original local amala and ewedu, who needs a generator or sofa.

I loved her, she always reminded me to have a child for her to nurture before it became too late, I never though it did happen so fast, never thought death did come calling so soon. I have offended her, I deprived her of something she so much longed for!!! IYA IBADAN, I AM TRULY SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I know I cannot turn back the hands of time, I don't even want to, I am not in a position to contend with God's will. I can only wish...I actually do wish seriously.

She has left this world for a better place, as Muslims would say, MAY GOD GRANT HER ETERNAL FIDAU... AMIN.

Iya Ibadan, SUN RE O!!!برحمته,

NIGERIA...some great people, an 'ex' great nation! - Part 2

Wow...Nigeria hasn't changed much since I started this right up, has it? Well, one thing did change, the CBN governor. I have been part of a very long discourse (comments) on FB on this particular change...the Northern Agenda was what somewhat described it. Whilst I am not a subscriber to religious or ethnic sentiments, I cannot but frown and show my disgust and disappointment at the total bias and insincerity defined in the new governor's appointment.

Whilst some would lay claim to Lamido Sanusi being qualified given the fact that he was at the head of perhaps the biggest bank in Nigeria prior to his appointment, I did remind them that he was there for barely six months. I ma also likely to remind the supporters of the appointment that Sanusi's pedigree and vitae is not the most impressive with perhaps his biggest achievement being Risk and Credit control head at UBA. You may want to compare this to the history of past governors of the CBN, more importantly, those of them that have left an indelible mark on the face of the financial industry in our darling country.

In a country as sensitive, diverse, disgruntled and differential as Nigeria, in an environment streaming with excessive intellectual talent, I cannot explain a situation whereby the head of the Economic team, Finance Minister and CBN governor are from a single state. Whilst I am not very open to tribal or religious sentiments, I am a full-breed student of the realism school of thought. How do I explain this kind of executive recklessness, or do I say carelessness, it can only be defined as a definite maneuver by the high echelons of Arewa leadership.

I am passionate about this country, extremely so, I believe Nigeria remains a land of opportunities...a blessed country. Therefore, I cry out to the executive to stop the blantant political rape and abuse of the polity.

Love lost...or found...or wicked, always a song unsung!

How do I start? Sometimes there is so much to write you end up writing nothing. I have so much on my mind right now, define a heavy heart; answer is Olayinka's heart at the moment. Maybe my sins are the source of my grief...not possible because the word of God says otherwise, thank God for his mercies as she would always say.

It pains me so that I am a thorough ambassador of FAITH, an apostle of a 'worry-free' life, yet I worry, get bothered. I cannot remember the last time I prayed without asking for an increased level of faith...and grace. As I type this blog, I am listening to a message titled 'Faith & Character' by Pastor Godman Akinlabi of Daystar yet I act like I knoweth not how to live a life of faith. The truth is I am just 'me', hoping to be a 'me + X'. It is that 'X' that i ask of God everyday, every prayer, every thought. I know my weakness, my character, my personality, my person...in short, I am my weakness! Yes, ME.

Maybe I have not given all, maybe I hold back a little; truth is I am who I am yet what I am needs to change now more than ever. A man of faith does not lay his hands on the plough and look back, he does not start and stop midway, he stops at the end of the stretch, the next turn. Procrastination is no different from hesitance...you are either faithless or doubtful both ways. Truth is if you knew the end result of a step, you would either choose to do it or forget about it rather than postpone or think about it. It is so funny how we look at the source of our wrong right in front of us and yet do nothing about it....hmmm, how true is the word of God in calling us flesh.

The last few days of my life have been of great emotional challenge, I have indeed been heavy, on a journey of perpetual worry and self-torture. The last few months have even been more challenging, in those months I have found love, lost it, found it, lost it and found it again. Truth be told, after this kind of 'lost and found', the love becomes diluted, it becomes a source of both joy and worry.

I have changed a lot in these months, yes, I have been (in and out) getting rid of some things and replacing them with others within me. I have met God, I have met love, I have met progress, indeed it is getting better, yet I worry!!!

If I ever publish this post, I believe it is because it rids me of something and adds something new. About a year ago there was a song around, very popular, titled 'love is wicked'. I remember clearly listening to the song then and wondering why love has been deemed wicked. The word of God tells me there is no law against love, it says love is sacred, a virtue, a gift from BABA himself...how can it then be wicked? I start by saying 'God forbid' wicked love, I finish by saying 'Is love not wicked?'

If you read this and it has a meaning, please drop a comment, help me understand even before the story is completed. God remains faithful, even in our unfaithfulness!

NIGERIA...some great people, an 'ex' great nation!

It's 3.23am, it's early into a new day and I am not asleep yet. Don't get it twisted, I don't have exams coming up, no tight deadlines either...so what on earth am I doing awake? I am not on FB and not up to blog or play either...I just got home, well not even home technically, I am putting up at a friends for the night (more like morning).

"In my house in Ibadan, I have Three generators (7KVa diesel, one 5KVa petrol and one 2KVa petrol) and Two sources of water (well and borehole)."

I stopped clubbing, late night hang outs and parties a while back and I haven't been to a vigil in a while. What am I doing awake and why am I just getting home? I haven't answered that question yet but I will - I was in traffic on Lagos Ibadan expressway for 6 hours, almost a whole work day/shift. The journey of forty minutes became a journey of 7 hours, Abeokuta to Lagos, I am indeed wasted!!!

The day started on a rather promising note, after all it was a work free day...DEMOCRACY DAY. It started with a trip to the barber's, window shopping to kill time (since I bought nothing) and then a smooth drive to Abeokuta to spend quality time with my childhood friends and see a mentor. I had to leave Abeokuta reluctantly as I was having some fun, food and fad, reminiscing over old and new times with my quartet of childhood friends. One of us is married so we had our wife to do some home food and a babygirl to spice up the jist.

Anyways, I left Abeokuta around 7pm and hoped to be in Festac in about1.5 hours...for where, for 9ja, bobo!!! Never even got to Festac that day, spent my DEMOCRAZY evening in traffic, added a little of my 'environment sanitation' morning too. Throughout the long and tedious drag and drive, I kept thinking about my beloved country and the cynical and calamitous state of our basic social amenities. I really came close to weeping for my country (wept on the journey for another reason anyway but unbloggable :)).

I am forced to wonder if Nigeria will ever be great, even doubt if it has ever been great, I never grew to find any trace of the acclaimed 'Giant of Africa'...felt like a figment of some geek's imagination, bobo as some would call it. I love this country, no doubt!, I cherish it and want the best for it. I had the opportunity to have been of the shores of the country for academic reasons but I never tried staying out, my heart was always back here (HOME).

I stayed in the UK for one full year obtaining a MBA in Business Management from the University of Sheffield in 2005/2006. I will never forget my first night...please don't abuse me...no be my fault. I remember switching on my lights on the first night in Sheffield, I remember clearly the reaction I had to the brightness of the light, I remember thinking the bulb was going to explode, I remember thinking it was all too bright...in fact I switched it off. The truth is PHCN light and our old generator back at my "father's" is all I had known before my trip, none of the above ever clocks more than 180 volts. In fact, PHCN at 160 volts (the norm) was a great feat, better that than the low current (voltage) alternative.

In my house in Ibadan, I have Three generators (7KVa diesel, one 5KVa petrol and one 2KVa petrol) and Two sources of water (well and borehole). I have consciously decided not to pay PHCN anymore, can't keep paying for a facility I don't enjoy. Ask Ibadan indigenes, anything public is a luxury, especially water!

I am a tax paying citizen of Nigeria, never defaulted on that. If I make my tax bill public, it may result in a public outcry. The fact that I pay it to the current government of that state makes it absolutely ridiculous, a total waste of my hard earned income. Understand my plight when I tell you I am not sure if there is indeed a government in that state, the first in the West of darling Nigeria.

to be continued...

Blogging...a whole new experience.

I have always known about blogs...probably always known I could write too, just never got bothered. I have made a living off writing a couple of times, survived on it, passed exams by it but now I am loving life via it.

One of the worst virtues a man can posses, including myself, is the ability to start without finishing...just giving up consciously or unconsciously, I have been very guilty of this in the past...that was before I told 'BABA' "no more uncompleted projects in my life". In my very first blog, I promised I did bless people with this blog everyday of my life...I will, I must, Yes Oh!, mos def.

When I started this, i feared the level of relevance it might have, thought to myself "what if nobody read it, what if it was all just another blabber tale?". Two weeks after, peeps, no regrets...it is relevant, I am fulfilled already...your reading this is living proof that 'it can only get better'.

Blogging...a whole new experience indeed, not just for me, but, for everybody that now knows what it means to blog (for free for that matter). If you ever read something here that has a meaning, good or bad, please drop a comment, refer the blog, show an emotion, share...make sure you are not just a reader but a doer!!!

God bless and keep us all still, AMEN.

'ur bruva from anoda mother.

Patience...a virtue you can't buy...continued.

This is a tale of 3 people...me, Aung San Suu Kyi and a commercial bus driver.

I make a confession this day...I have been a pretty impatient human being, one fast to react, regrets or not, just act and think later. I have been hard on people around me, sometimes totally irrational I must confess (I take a lot of things after my mother...it worked for her but don't seem to work for me, at least not always). I do realize my shortcomings, I have for a long time, just felt it was okay for everybody to live with it...so selfish of me.

I really thank God for my life, peeps that know me tru n tru won't believe what I am today, no worries because I am as shocked as you are (in retrospect). I see myself as undeserving, unworthy...no be God, thank God for His grace (Romans 3:24), ever present for the likes of me. A sharp change started in me some time in the second half of last year, God knows it wasn't plan, that was just fulfillment of His purpose...you never know what hits you, you just slide straight into it.

I am the definition of change...absolute change, a deviation from the norm, renaissance, evolution. I am that which I am, who I am and what I have become. The sweetest thing about life is not realizing your faults, sins or wrongs...the sweetest bit is getting rid of them, moving on, getting better, 'imploding and exploding' as required.

So for the koko of this 'type up', patience...ummmm, how does an impatient person write on patience? I will rather write about a patient person (Aung San), an impatient me and the 'patiently unpatient' bus driver. Let's call it the tale of 3 musketeers or, better still; the good, the bad and the ugly (at least the bus was rickety so its okay to call the bus driver 'the ugly', better him than me).

Aung San is a hero to millions of people, a sacrificial lamp that has chosen the path of suffering for the masses, for a just cause, another Mandela (albeit this time from another continent). Aung San is the pro-democracy activists from Burma, A WOMAN! (of more than virtue), an enemy of the 'rogue generals' that have turned the country into a personal property, their very own toy. Indeed the heart of man is desperately wicked (Jer 17:9), I for one can't phantom it the evil we do. Aung San has spent more than 11 years of the last 19 under some form of detention (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/1950505.stm) yet she has remain true to the cause showing no signs of tiring. She had never knew suffering, she is of royal blood, daughter of the first Burmese ruler...she has just decided to take after our Lord Jesus (leadership by followership and sacrifice, see Mat 20:27-28).

I already told you about me so I will go on to the 'ugly bus driver'...the one I met/saw at a traffic light on Opebi some days ago around 10pm. We arrived about the same time at this particular traffic light about the same time, as it changed to 'STOP' (red) and we both did stop. We waited 1, 2,...5 minutes (yes, the danfo driver waited at that time of the day. I was impressed and was going to open my mouth to sing his praise for such 'strange behaviour' for a danfo warlord but... vroooom...he sped of with the lights still at 'STOP', 2 seconds after lights turned to yellow then green. I was flabbergasted, disappointed, pained...then, it hit me, the event sparked of something in my mind. I had just experienced physically how many of us miss so much in life after waiting so much!!!

So here I am, the impatient me...there is Aung San, the global hero of inestimable patience...then there is the danfo driver who was so patient he took of 2 seconds too early after a 5 mins wait. I leave your mind to draw the conclusions, I won't do it for you...I would, however, remind you of Eccl 7:8 and Gal 5:22.

Stay blessed...hustle and flow!