Wednesday, August 10, 2011

THE VOW!

THE. VOW   I, Sarah Adams take Lawson Kuti as my lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part" she smiled at him through her veil.   "You may now kiss your bride Mr. Lawson" The Pastor beckoned.   Lawson's heart raced as he gently unveiled his bride's face. She looked so beautiful. He gently bent over and placed a soft kiss on her lip. Sarah in turn embraced him tightly with tears of joy streaming down her face.   "Never leave me Sarah" He whispered in her ear.   "I will never leave you" she whispered and they slowly released themselves from the embrace.   "I present to you the latest couple!" The Pastor exclaimed excitedly   The church cheered and Sarah cried more in her husband's arms.
5 years Later
Sarah silently tip toed behind her husband. He was in his study, engrossed in reading. She smiled to herself and gently covered his eyes with both hands.   "It's just you and I in this house Sara, plus, I smelled you the moment you walked in" He dropped   Sara released her hold, sighed and sat on the study table, "Why do you figure me out so easily? I can't even surprise you! That sucks" she curled her arms around his neck   "You are my wife, nothing you do is supposed to surprise me" He playfully pecked her nose.   "But you've been in the study all day and I'm bored!" She rolled her eyes   "So what kind of fun do you suggest we have then?" He swooped her off the table in his arms   "No! no that kind of fun!" She hit him playfully till he put her down   "Ok", He folded his arms on his chest, looking into her eyes, "So what do you want us to do?"   "Not us. Actually, all I want is to play with your play station and you've hidden it again! Just give it and you can continue your reading. pleaaaseee" She blinked her eyes playfully   "No way", He went back toward his study chair and sat, "Not my play station"   "Why! You never let me touch it...like its your baby" She sulked   "Well", he rolled his eyes, "Not like you've given me a baby yet"   Sara paused for a moment. Did he just say that to her? The words struck her deep down   "You shouldn't have said that Lawson..." She managed to say, her countenance changing.   "But it's true...I'm only saying the truth Sara" He turned to face her, still sitting on the chair.   "The truth? You think I don't want us to have kids?"   "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that..." He stood to face her now.   "Then what are you saying Lawson? Tell me, what is the truth?"   "Let's not do this today...please. You can have the play station and play all you want. It's in my footwear locker and the key is in my Bible"   "You always do this...hurting me with your words" Her voice began to shake   "Don't start Sara please"   "Tell me why you said those words to me! I want to know!"   "Because I'm tired! I want to be a father! I want to have my own kids Sara..."   " and you think I don't?!" Sara flared, trying not to let the tears pour   "Then why can't you get pregnant Sara? This is the fifth year we are trying." He clenched his teeh and walked out of the study.   Sara was in shock. She sat on the chair for some seconds, stood up again and saton the chair again...this time she held on to her blouse and burst into tears.

2weeks after
"Lawson, wake up please" Sara tapped him   Lawson gently opened his eyes and looked at the alarm clock by his bedside, "It's 2:00am Sara..."   "It's urgent"   "I'm listening" He said drowsily   "Mother says we should come for tests. She says she's spoken to her doctor and he said we should come."   "What?" Lawson opened his eyes now, "Your mother is the UK for Christs sakes"   "Let's just do it. We can go for the weekend, lets just give it a shot, please."   "No. That would be rather expensive and..."   "It's my birthday today and the only thing I want from you is this trip"   Lawson fell quiet now. For the past two years now, his wife's birthday skips his mind...totally.   "I'm...I'm sorry Sara...It skipped my mind..."   "It always does" She lay down back on the bed, backing him.   Lawson wrapped his arms around her waist, "I said I'm sorry..."   No response.   Lawson sighed, "Fine, we go this weekend"   "Really?" She turned sharply, excited   "If it will make you happy today"   "Thank you baby" She hugged him.

A week after
Sara jerked at the vibration of the phone in her pocket.   "Hi mom!" she pressed the phone to her ear with her shoulders, wiping the washed dishes with her hands.   "Honey..."   "What is it mom?" she pressed it harder   "The result...the result of the tests..." her mother cried   Sarah gently dropped the plate and the wiper, hear racing..."Just say it mom..."   That night   "I can never have children Lawson..." Sara cried   Lawson felt his world crash right in front of him, "W...what?"   "Mama called today...she's gotten the tests results"   "Jesus Christ" Lawson stood, placing his palm on his head, "b...but you told m you were ok before we got married, you told me the doctor said your abortion didn't damage your womb"   "Don't bring my past into this!" Sara flared   Lawson laughed and got serious almost immediately, "You are crazy. I married a crazy woman!"   Sara looked at him in shock, like he'd lost his mind.   "The results say you can never have children and we bith know that this has to do with the abortion you had before we met!", he flared, "are you happy?...you know we're screwed right? No kids? what re we going to tell the world?"   "Lawson we can adopt..." Sara cried   "Adopt? Wow!", he laughed again, "I married a funny woman too!" He got sserious again, "Its still not our baby! The damn baby is not my flesh and blood! You are full of deceit Sara" He looked into her eyes. Sara could see him fighting his tears.   "Lawson stop...you are hurting me..." Sara fell on her knees crying   "You want to know what I'm thinking?" Lawson looked at her with disgust, "I'm thinking how on earth I'm going to stand seeing your deceitful face for the rest of my life"   "Sra cried harder, "Dont give up Lawson...So far I have a womb...I can still carry our baby..."   "I am not giving up on having my baby, I'm giving up on you" Lawson turned around to leave   "Lawson!" She held his feet, "I'm hurting too..."

He only dragged his feet from her hold and drove out of the house. She wept.   A month Later   "Mother, he's not even talking to me. All of a sudden we are both strangers...He doesn't eat my food, comes home late...he hates me so much and its killing me. I'm confused...to think that it's ,e truly hurting..."   "For how long will you hide this truth from him. You've got to let him know...you can't carry his..."   There was the sound of a car hon   "Mom I've got to go...he's back"   "Baby, you've got to let him know. It can work when you two are one in mind"   "Bye mom" she ended the call.   Lawson came into the house, about to walk past her.   "Lawson" She held him   "I'm tired" He didn't want to look at her face   "I know...can we talk for some minutes?" She tried to help him remove his suit   "Look what is it" He jerked from her   "Do you hate me this much? you can't even look me in the eye? you can't even stand my sight? Lawson...it's me Sara...your best friend..." Her eyes grew moist   "I'm in no mood for this" He turned around to walk away   "Don't you dare leave when I'm talking to you!" She dragged him by the suit.Just then, some papers fell to the floor. Sara quickly bent to pick them up...her hands shook and her body became numb all over.   "D...divorce papers? Lawson?" She searched his eyes   "Answer me goddammit!" She held him by the collar of his shirt, crying   "They are for you to sign. I want out" Lawson dropped   "Y...you what?" she slowly freed him from her hold   "It's not going to work Sara, can't you see?"   "Lawson I can't believe you would think of a divorce and even go this far...why are you so wicked!" she cried, angry   "No! Why are you so wicked!" He retorted, flaring   "Think about me for once. I am a man for Christs sakes. My children are my pride! and you are about to deny me that for the rest of my life because of your stupid mistake!"   "What about me! have you stopped for once to think about what I'm going through"   "Its your cross, carry it" Lawson fixed his angry eyes on his wife   "No, its now our cross and I am not signing those divorce papers! We vowed never to leave each other!"   "Isn't it better Sara that you save yourself more hurt and sign these papers than to see another woman move into this house before your very eyes?" he said with a tone of sarcasm   Sara's heart thumped, "What?"   "You heard me...another woman who can help raise a family, so save yourself the stress and sign the damn papers. I need it tomorrow"He turned around to leave again   "She still can;t carry your baby" Sara dropped   "Not all women had abortions. Not every woman was like you." He scorned.
"You are the one who can't give me a child!"
"You are the one who can't give me a child!" Sara let out, crying.   Lawson stopped now, turned around and walked towards her, "Whatever your plan is won't work"   "I told you I could never have a child because its you who can't make me pregnant"   "Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are you saying!" He shook her shoulders violently   "You are infertile Lawson...the doctor says you have primary infertility..." Sara burst into tears   Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.   "Mother called me to give me the news. I was shattered, I felt like my world was over but more importantly I thought of you. I thought of what the news could do to you, I thoight of the best way to tell you... never for once did i think of leaving you. I bore your insults, your scorn, because of my past. It was so easy to judge me and think of yourself. I am the one who is hurting, I am the one who should bring some miserable divorce papers...but I thought of you...I thought of hope, faith and a miracle...I thought of my vow to you on that altar. In sickness and in health remember?", she smiled through her tears, "all of a sudden you are as weak as a baby...looking in your eyes, I can see you sudenly have lost all your guards, You are so wicked"

"Sara..." Lawson fell on his knees, torn.   "No!" She quickly fell on her knees too, "No Lawson..." She couldn't bear to see him cry   "I'm...I'm infertile", he cried, "What is left of me?" he searched his wife's eyes   "Lawson please..." she held his face, "I understand...it has been so hard for me...I have put myself in your shoes since the first day..."   "You don't deserve this...you deserve better...I can't believe I scorned you all along...please let me leave you"   "No" she shook her head, "You are my husband. I won't leave you. I won't let you leave me...I believe in miracles"   "I'm doomed...Sara I'm doomed..."He allowed his wife take him in her arms and on her shoulder he wept like a child.   In the Morning   Sara gently opened her eyes, looking beside her bed...it was empty. She quickly sat up on seeing a note gently placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she opened the letter to read.   Sara,   I cannot bear the shame. I have treated you so unfairly, yet you love me still, you are with me even in this condition of mine. To think that you knew all along and you never for once gave me a clue that it is my fault we are in this mess, makes me so unworthy of you. I love you enough to let you build another life with a man who can make you happier. I'm torn Sara and all I ask is your forgiveness. I have always loved you and if you truly love me then please start your life over again...without me...I am truly sorry for disappointing you.   Lawson.

Sara couldn't control the tears. She couldn't think straight anymore. She picked her cell phone, shaking...   "Hi Mr. Lawson's office please"   "hI Lola..." she cried, "have you seen my husband today?"   "No...no ma'am, we've been expecting him at work. He has a presentation is fifteen minutes"   "Oh God...God..." Sara dipped her hand in her full hair   "Everything ok ma'am?"   "Thank you" she ended the call.   She quickly got down from the bed and in her pajamas she ran into her car. She dialed his number repeatedly as she drove...no answer.   At 2:00pm   She sped into Fred's compound, a close friend to her husband.   "Fred!" she banged the door hastily till the door flung open   "My God Sara what's wrong?" Fred held her   "It's...its Lawson...have you seen him? is he here?"   "No...Haven't heard from him in a week"   "Oh God" she held her hair   "What's wrong?"   But she was already walking away into her car.   "Sara!" He called after her.   She zoomed away.   4:30pm   "Mom, Dad, I can't find Lawson...I can't find your son..." she cried as she paced in front of the two who looked lost   "You have to calm down and tell us what happened" Lawson's mother put her arms around Sara.   Sara burst into tears, "Please Dad could you try his number, maybe he'd pick your call?"   "Have you been to his office?" He picked his cellphone and dialed his son's number   "I have been everywhere I know him to be likely available"   "It's ok...calm down please" Lawson's mother pet her   "He's not picking. What exactly went wrong between you two?" Lawson's father searched Sara'a eyes   9:00pm   Sara was still in her pajamas and on her way back home, exhausted and stuck in the traffic. She had told Lawson's parents everything. The poor couple was so shattered and also begging her to begin a new life. Sara buried her head on the steering, crying; she hadn't realized the green light.   "Hey get off the freaking road!" a driver cursed from behind her   "God please don't let him harm himself...keep him safe and lead me to him...please God..." she quickly started the car and began to move.

Suddenly she remembered the church where they wedded and took their vows. It was two hours from here; she made a u-turn and headed for the church hoping to find some peace. She tiredly got down from the car, drenched and exhausted. She trudged into the open entrance of the church. She paused for a moment; shocked...it was Lawson sitting at the front row of the empty church, facing the altar. "Lawson!" She began to run towards him, happy, relieved that he was ok.   "Sara?" He quickly stood as she approached him, "Sara..."   They both ran into each other's arms. He hugged her so tightly   "I looked for you everywhere....this was the last place I thought you'd ever be...I just came and I saw you...Lawson....I'm so happy you are ok" she touched his face   "I didn't know where else to go...It just feels like I cant face the world anymore..." he slowly released her from his embrace.   "Take my hand" Sara stretched out her hand, "C'mon, just take it"   Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers and she took him to the altar and stood to face him. She searched his eyes so deeply and hadn't seen him so weak and helpless.   "Five years ago Lawson, we both stood on this altar. Remember our vows? Remember you whispered in my ear never to leave you. I told you I wouldn't...that's why I'm here. I am your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with you forever, though the bad and good times. We've had good times, why would I leave you now? All I want from you is to believe that you can still give me a child despite what the result said...I want you to believe in a miracle", she held his face, "remember when you told me I was a miracle in your life?...our children will be our miracles too. Trust God with me because I know it won't be long..."   "Who are you Sara..." Lawson was weak with her words   "The one who vowed to be with you till the end" she smiled through her thin tears   "God I love you so much Sara" He hugged her again   "So will you come back home with me?" Sara searched his eyes   "I have no other place to call home" He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

2 years after   Lawson and Sara were on the sofa watching a late night movie. Sara was resting on his shoulders when she felt the movement   "Lawson Lawson, it moved again...don't miss it this time touch touch" she gently placed his palm on the side of the stomach. Both felt the movement of their child   "I can feel him...I can feel him" Lawson placed his head on her belly   "I can feel him growing each day inside of me..." "What do you think its saying now by this movement?" "Thank you dada for believing in me" she laughed. They both laughed "The movement has stopped" he slowly removed his head from her stomach, "I think he's sleeping" Sara rested on his shoulders again, "In six months you'd be a father, "You finally got your miracle"   Lawson tilted his wife's face to him, looking into her eyes, "Sara...you were the miracle I needed. Thank you for not leaving me." Sara tickled his nose with hers, "I love you too. Always will", she smiled, "We missed a whole lot on our movie" "Movie can wait, but this can't" He gently planted a kiss on her belly.

Hi Friends,   First, we forget our vows so easily, so quickly that once our marriages start hitting the rocks, we fail to realize that there is power in union. When there is union, every mountain can be subdued. The problem is people don't yet understand the concept of marriage and trust me, until you do, please don't go to the alter because what you don't understand will eventually become a burden and confuse you. The concept of marriage is 'for better, for worse'. The 'worse' moments always come. I am not saying expect bad things but I'm saying that challenges come in marriage to make you stronger in oneness so don't use it against yourselves. Second, miracles are real and I hope we all learn to have the patience to have our miracles in the end. Remember that marriage is a 'stick and stay' relationship not a 'hit and run' thing.

 Remember your vows each day, enjoy your marriage, you deserve it! 

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Success to Significance Part 1

Over the next couple of blogs, I will be sharing with you a few tips on leadership and career success that I learnt from a 'happily successful' VP in P&G when he visited Nigeria this month (August 2011). I will start by repeating something he said; "I will be humble and not claim I am the origin nor am I the best at any of the following. I will, however, do my best at it...".


successful careers...
He made me realize true success is found in not just being successful but also moving into significance, thus the title 'Success to Significance'. Here are a couple of tips he shared:

  1. You can only make people truly happy if you are happy; "put your oxygen mask on 1st before helping others".
  2. promises made, promises kept...ensure you deliver on commitments.
  3. Do not be afraid to stretch, ask yourself "what is the worst case scenario?"
  4. Ask 'what will it take' and not 'how long' or 'how much'.
  5. No one completes the puzzle of a role alone, strive to put in as many right pieces as possible during your tenure.
  6. Be humble; take the blame but give credit to your subordinates.
  7. Build to last...focus on sustainability, what if you had to come back?
  8. Walk the talk.
  9. Leave a legacy...people are the biggest legacies, they out-last processes.
This I learnt today, in a different way. I WILL BE SIGNIFICANT BY BUILDING MY TEAM...and people around me. By that, I will achieve Success through Significance.

YES WE WIN!!! #touch1millionlives

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Nostalgia or Regret...back to Festac.

If you read my 1st couple of posts on this blog, you will see a trend of stories focused on a 3rd party. Yes, I was dating then, a 'serious' relationship they say. it ended 1 year ago this month...she lives/lived in Festac and I leaved in Ojodu.

My trips to Festac from Ikeja were almost daily, even when I was still living in Ibdan, I used to travel down every weekend #fool4luv. So 'm on my way for a colleague's wedding in Festac, it dawned on me that I knew Festac like I was born there.

I remember 1 of those trips from Ibadan, I was at her's till very late and decided to sleep in Festac (was a big customer to the hotels in the area). I didn't plan it so made no reservation. It was a Friday night and my Ibo friends don't dull...all hotels were fully booked, I ended sleeping in my car inside my favourite hotel's car park....wow!!!

Sometimes I wonder if it was all a waste, like I should have regrets. Me, no, never...it's all part of my maturing process. I did invest my all in that relationship...not sure I did as I still have 'me'. Its all nostalgia...a strange one though. Net, it's all good now, 'm out of the hood now.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Another Week Gone By.

It's raining and my DSTV stopped working, didn't hear the rain so kept trouble-shooting on the PVR. After 30 fruitless minutes of looking for what wasn't lost, I stepped outside and discovered what I thought was the Air-conditioning dropping water was rain. 9ja and rain just don't add up for technology, ask any GSM owner here.

Anyway, I was actually busy thinking about the Working week that just  finished, so happy it is over. It was hectic, harsh and hard. I worked, thought and toiled. I got schooled and scolded, I fought back and all I got was feedback. So many deliverables on the work and personal side.

I just moved to a new place so I've been up and about, real struggle emotionally, financially and physically...but it's all good now. Lying in my bed, all I feel right now is fulfillment, favour and triumph. There is one lesson; Perseverence! It was a tough week but I stayed strong, I trusted God and I kept on going. I didn't just survive, I won!

People, It's not rocket science...It's called FAITH!

Moving Mountains still...I am who I am.

Monday, July 25, 2011

MTN....Your 'Worst' Connection!

grrrrhhhh...!!!
It pains my heart that the 1st blog entry I make after a while comes with a negative intent/experience. I wish it differently but I live in Nigeria after all. It is only in Nigeria that companies have a field day skimming and scamming their customers/consumers while the Consumer Protection Council stays dormant, NCC keep 'dulling' and the FG continue dipping their filthy hands into our collective inheritance.


My experience derives from a text message i received from MTN about two weeks ago wherein they apologized for their default bad service on BIS, they added that i was getting 1 week BIS free extension as compensation...yipppeeee! I screamed, thinking Nigeria just became better over night. Little did i know it was MTN adding a 419 dimension into the skill-block. My default BIS expiry date arrived and, of-course, MTN took me off the BIS network...chei! 


I would have sworn it was a mistake and I was still going to get the freeby, I delayed renewing on my own for a day. What a waste, even when I finally decided to give them the usual N3,000, they 'refused' to collect it meaning I stayed of the network for another 24 hrs.. In Nigeria's world of BB addiction, that was some frustration, I felt really left behind and my anger increased.


Finally, a friend of mine that works with MTN customer service helped get me back on the network a few hours ago at the cost of N3,000; my own money and I still had to work on it! Anyway, I didn't think of blogging until I got a text from MTN telling me I had been active since yesterday and my BIS expiration date was calculated based on yesterday rather than today. I no go gree o!!! They scammed me, now they want to skim me....#Godforbid.


Indeed, MTN is the "WORST' connection, I will get my 1 week and 1 day 'by hook or crook'.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

YOUR WORTH!

So what do you think of yourself? look at the picture and draw your own in your mind...the picture indeed says a lot, at least it did to me.

I AM OF INFINITE WORTH

Monday, March 21, 2011

A UK Citizen's View on Allied (UK) Participation in Libya Crisis

UK bombs Pro-Ghadaffi Tanks
My concern is for our pilots who have to operate out of the UK with a 3000 mile journey, there and back, this is without the actual operating time over the target. 

If anything goes wrong during this period... What recovery capability do we have? Remember there will be no troops on the ground!!! 

Cock-up Cameron has done it again ill-thought out, fire at the hip without proper planning. Where is our aircraft carrier? SCRAPPED! Where are our Harriers? SCRAPPED! What happened to the trainee pilots that had their courses cancelled within an inch of qualification. When we do eventually get our TWO new Aircraft Carriers we will still have no aircraft to put on them!! What gave this man (Mr Cameron) the idea that he can run a country efficiently? We have been firing off cruise missiles at £300,000 a go. It seems we can afford that but not to educate our own university students. 

Now Cock-up Cameron calls for a NO-FLY zone. It would be funny if it wasn't such a risk to our fantastic service personnel. He is well on the way to making the UK a No-Fly Zone. WHAT A FARCE???

We need a grown-up in No.10 Downing Street not a public school boy.

The media will claim this action as strong leadership on the PMs part (and I believe that Gadafi is a real tyrant). But to expect our armed services to have to operate with one arm tied behind their backs is more than stupid. IT IS CRIMINAL!!! You can't cut our armed services to the bone then expect them to fight two wars AND protect the UK from external threats. This current action comes more from the military school of "MUST DO SOMETHING" rather than "LET'S PLAN FOR NOW - AND AFTER GADAFI IS GONE".

Heaven forbid that we have to suffer losses from this war but if we do I would like to know if Cock-up Cameron will give a PUBLIC apology to the all the families who are left to grieve.

When Political Dogma replaces Inteligence and common sense then we had ALL better watch out.

The other very significant question that no-one seems to have asked is... Who is it that we are supporting in Lybia? Is it... 

1. The nice guys who want to be friends with the West?
2. Muslim extremists that thought Gadafi was getting too close to UK?
3. Is it muzzy headed liberals who, like ours, do not know what they want but will trample on anyone elses welbeing to give themselves a place in Government?

The truth is we don't know. I would be very angry if we were to lose good people fighting for "The Oposition" only to find they end up opposing us.

It is true that Gadafi is not a nice person and he is probably butchering his own people. Does this mean that we are going to sort out African Countries like Zimbabwe or other middle east countries like Yemen or Barhrein next?

If that's the case... How many £300,000 Tomahawk Missiles have we got left?

Finally, the old question. Where is the money going to come from to pay for all this? Reduce Tax Credits AGAIN? Hit benefits and raid pension schemes AGAIN? Reduce the Health Service Budget YET AGAIN? Cut Local Services YET AGAIN? 

Well it's easy to do that isn't it? Much much easier than taking it out of the banker's pockets.

The only good thing that is likely to come out of this war is that the country might see that we need someone in 10 Downing Street who knows what they are doing. Not the current trainee!!!


Christie (March 21, 2011)