The Ideal Parent

'Point your kids in the right direction...' Proverbs 22:6

The 'coach/trainer' style: These parents provide direction by teaching and example, modelling respect, responsibility, safety, trust and maturity in how they treat the child. They are 'in charge', yet always preparing the child for the 'in charge' role in due time, delegating authority to the child when they are ready. Respect, not intimidation, is used to train kids, understanding that a respectful child will follow the rules even in your absence. Responsibility is modelled by the parent's refusal to make (or accept) excuses. Independence is encouraged by how well children handle limits and controls. The parent is solution-focused, not problem-focused; forgiving; acknowledging their own failures; and directing kids to the future, not the past. These parents choose their battles wisely, avoiding damaging arguments but holding the line in matters of faith, respect, trust, honesty, responsibility and consequences. Mistakes are used to teach, not shame. Such parents are transparent, admitting their own shortcomings and apologising when it's necessary. The rules are clear, consistent and fair. They don't issue repeated 'warnings', and consequences apply without exception. Administering discipline is done with nurture, respect and reassurance. What are the pluses of the style? It provides kids with a safe, protective, loving environment for learning, while you, the parent, model respect, responsibility, trust and autonomy. Movement toward adulthood is a joint parent-child project. What are the minuses of this style? None! Called from 'UCB Word for Today' by Bob and Debby Gass

Mobile blogging...a renewed choice to write 'life'.

So I haven't blogged in, ehm, forever? Yes, I have virtually turned my God given grace to write to a denizen of the hidden depths of this world, almost forgot I could think and write simultaneously so easily.

Oh well, I am here sitting in church, listening to Pastor Bolu go on about talent and God not being partial (yeah right!, how else do you explain the choice of Israel or the gazillion differences in this world) and I remembered my blog. Not really, I actually opened up an email from Sahara News and clicked on a link referring to the sacking of Madam Oduah #finally and saw my blog was opened on the browser. Truth is it has been opened about a month and I just couldn't or didn't bring myself to really have a look at it. I guess the 'me in me' was simply ashamed of having not blogged in forever, not even a picture post.

I got married, actually pursued my wife for a year before courtship, traveled a lot of places, had a beautiful and blessed daughter #Mobaby, been through so many awesome periods and not once did I blog! Not once!!!

Ok, discovered twitter (for Arsenal) and, more recently, Instagram but never blogged even though I have my blog page link everywhere I go, even LinkedIn.

This has to change, this has changed. I have an iPhone with a blog app. I am 'blog' (born) again!

I am back!

PS: Pastor Bolu is still preaching, moved on to financial blessings...I am blessed!!!

Another random one... Thought Provoking!

There are no absolute finish lines for everyone in d race of life. Our tracks are different,our lanes are different & our durations are different. The only thing we have in common is the same umpire. For instance, one person graduates at age 20 & struggles for another five years to get a job, another might graduate at age 25 & gets a job immediately. One can marry a virgin & wait for d next decade to have d blessings of children, another lady probably after having series of abortions in her past, becomes a mum almost immediately after marriage. A fellow becomes an MD at 38 and dies at 56, another becomes MD at 55 and lives to 90 wat a life. Life is full of twists, turns, ups & downs and many more surprises & disappointments. Life offers each one of us different opportunities. It is up to each of us to patiently prepare,wait, recognize & utilize every opportunity. We learn on the way. No one knows it all or has it better. There is a reason why we all don't fall at the same time. Its so dat when one is down, weak & discouraged, the other who is strong, can encourage and uplift him. God never promised that the road would be easy but He promised never to leave nor forsake us. There's no competition in life so let's learn to go easy on ourselves & trust that God is working it all 4 good (even if it doesn't make sense now). I know dat there is a time for everything but most importantly that "it will come to pass". Whatever trials, challenges or down time, this too shall pass & in due course, you'll be up & strong again to lift up those who maybe down around you".Lots of things in life are by choice & not by force.

Let God take the wheels in our Lives!

One of those BB broadcast :) , June 2012

Random but true...

I recall as a kid that a man in my village became unpopular for engaging in money rituals just to buy the 80's edition of the Honda Prelude. You wouldn't buy that car for 50k today.

I remember as a kid, my whole street converged to watch a truck deliver a very large satellite dish to my neighbor's house. Today a dish one tenth that size delivers 5 times the value and is in almost every student hostel room.

What of the Volkswagen Santana, Mercedes Benz V booth, all overtaken by Camry and Honda discussions? .... Vanity.

Old versus new

A friend declared drinks for the boys because he just launched the Nokia Communicator for over a hundred grand in 2002. Today that phone would embarrass the owner and is a joke compared to the low cost and everyday phone.

People still make the most amazing sacrifices over the vainest of things, make enemies over worthless material things. What can I say? Look back at that one thing you want to kill or die for today and see what becomes of it tomorrow.

Slow down with the sense of attachment and blind pursuit of things, for today's gold is tomorrow's copper...

- Anonymous, April 2012

POINT ME A NIGERIAN POLITICIAN

Point me a Nigerian Politician

And I shall show you a shallow-minded,

Proud, and

Self-conceited human;

One who waters his garden with perfidy,

Stocks his barn with prejudice,

Has self-satisfaction for breakfast;

Avarice for lunch,

And vanity for dinner.

One who sleeps on the bed of self-righteousness,

And dances to sleazy tunes of failures.

Demo'crazy'

Show me a Nigerian Politician,

And I will point you a piteous Pharisee,

A wonderfully and deceitfully friendly alien,

Spoilt-rotten beyond redemption,

But hides under the cloak of righteousness.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing,

A disgrace in its entirety

Holding out the gong of integrity,

With a pizza slice of corruption lining his pocket seams.

Point me a Nigerian Politician.

For till present I have looked for but never found;

That Nigerian politician,

Who takes a daily meal of honesty

Dines with forks and knives of integrity

And sleeps comfortably on the bed of people-first;

If you have seen one please let me know

And I shall doff my heart in honest obeisance for him.

O’seunfunmi, April 2012

CELEBRATING XMAS THE NIGERIAN CHILDREN’S WAY IN THE ‘90s

Conductor suits,

Measured to size,

Hanging on hangers,

In Papa’s wardrobe,

Waiting to be worn,

For the festivities

Fill our thoughts

Making us eager to start Xmas earlier.

Oversize shoes,

Stuffed with tissues,

That will make us look,

Like Ali goes to school,

Is never an issue,

For even without laces,

They are like aces up our sleeves

And braces for our dresses.

Shiny plastic watches,

With shiny metal latches,

And silly looking faces,

But really looking gracey,

Lay on mama’s dressing table,

In very lovely plastic bags,

Begging to be worn,

Even before its specified time.

Mickey dark goggles,

With beautiful plastic frames,

Bought by grandma,

On her way from the village,

For her lovely little grandkids,

Lay on the refrigerator,

Blinking down like *shine-shine*

Under the Christmas lights in the sitting room.

Rolls of biscos,

Wraps of knockouts,

Bought with stolen money

Are packed under our beds

To be unleashed on passersby,

And also innocent girls we have crushes on,

As they walk out of the church

After the Xmas-eve service.

On Christmas day,

Like overstuffed teddies we walk,

Bouncing quaintly in our uncomfortable dresses,

And licking ice-skobi-skobi endlessly

While trudging from house to house,

In guise of seeing old-time relatives

But ending up with our tummies filled to bursting

And then spend the rest of the year nursing the effects of constipation.

If you never celebrated xmas the old-skool Nigerian children way,

You never knew what you missed.

© OLUWASEUN ADEGBOHUN 2011

A SONG OF WAR AGAINST DIVORCE...

Excuse the foundation of our existence

Life was never to beg indulgence

Love, true and pure is of life’s essence

 

As a stubborn yoke, you thrive

Never wishing I could drive

For union, I would dive

Like a bee in its hive

 "Today we long to own

Tomorrow ,a taste of disown"

Today we long to own

Tomorrow ,a taste of disown

In desolation, our mothers moan

For the pain of desertion that’s sown

Let my parents live the promise

And not as one mourning a demise

For all in the walk through life’s premise

They never thought to live amiss

I walk in the sands of time

Knowing I owe you, not a dime

Let me do life without a crime

And be at peace even in my prime

Go back to sleep, o’ you wreck called divorce

For you sulk as a curse

Love was never meant to be toppled by force

Yet good life remains but a choice

I miss your care, ‘o  father

How could you leave my sweet mother

Bet you know you made a blunder

For divorce, loving has become a tall order

The griming menace called divorce

Plaguing our homes without remorse

I captain a force mounting a horse

And declare that your end is come.

I say, ‘No to Divorce”.

Dedicated to all homes and families battling separation and the hardships fraught with divorce.

olayinka fadipe, 2011